School Has Started with a VENGEANCE

I cannot even hear myself think.....


I was so ready for school to start, but I forgot that meant I would be.....

... getting up at the buttcrack of dawn
... chasing down backpacks, lunchboxes, left shoes and all that stuff that I thought I had gotten together the night before
... dealing with the idiot patrol at morning drop-off
... dealing with rude jerkfaces who obviously cannot read in afternoon pick up
... volunteering
... helping with homework
... taking forgotten items to school
... getting to know the new assistant principal at the high school
... paying a zillion dollars in fees
... chasing down non-existent items on school supply lists
... did I mention getting up at the buttcrack of dawn??????

So for now, let's just say 10 down, 170 to go...............

And Then the Other Shoe Fell.......

Well.................

David's mother finally responded to his e-mail.  It was not as bad as he was afraid of.  But it was not awesome either.

She has "no idea" what on earth she could have ever done to hurt anyone's feelings.......

And she has known about his drug use since he was a teenager.  The stealing and lying, she claims to have known for his whole life.

She says she is happy for us to reconcile but who knows how she really feels, so that is good and I will try my darnedest to focus on the positive.......

But.......

She wrote "I did not feel it was my place to address these faults of yours."

Ok - I am sorry, but I have a 16 year old...... if I knew he was lying, stealing or using drugs, you can bet your bottom dollar it would be MY place to at least discuss it with him.

What kind of mother continues to give large amounts of money to a teenager, young adult and later a family man that she KNOWS has a drug problem????????

What kind of mother knows that her teenager is using drugs, alcohol, lying and stealing and does not at least say "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??????????"

Really???????

Her solution was to pretend it was not happening and to pray that he would see the light.

He has.

Unfortunately, it came after 27 years, 2 failed marriages and one child's broken heart........

I was initially angry that she was holding a grudge about me yelling at her to stop feeding Kaileigh milk products 7 years ago and for continually reminding everyone she ever met that she has 3 "REAL" grandchildren and an "Adopted" grandchild - always whispered, like I remember people whispering the word cancer when I was growing up, like it is shameful and catching.......
And for treating me like crap.  And for treating Hunter and Kaileigh differently than her other grandchildren.

I really have been angry for a long time about all of that............

But now, now, I am LIVID for the devastation her "love of her son" caused in his life, in my life, in my children's lives........

At least before, I could pretend that she had no clue..........now, I know she is just a sucky human being.

Family - Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Push 'Em Off a Cliff (Can we???)

Wow - long time, no update.  We are puttering along.......

David finally finished AND sent the email to his family that he has been working on for months.  It has been over a year since the therapist recommended he write it.  He sent it yesterday and it has stirred up quite a bit of nastiness over there.

Just the breakdown - David took responsibility for his actions for his whole life - the lies, the booze, the drugs, the abuse, the women - all of it.  This sucker was about 4 pages long.  In one TINY paragraph, he says this:

I did not stand up for Christy when we were married.  I allowed way too much family of origin influence over us.  I also put my relationships with you above my relationships with Christy and our children.  I always put your feelings above theirs.   I could sit here and list a million hurts that you have heaped upon Christy, Hunter, Kaileigh and other children we had in our home, but I won’t.  You know what you have done.  I know what you have done.  God knows what you have done.  I love you and I forgive you, but just know that it will no longer be tolerated. 

Guess which part his crazy sister has fixated on???????

Yep - you guessed it - those few sentences above.

  

Now, I am a manipulative, controlling, evil, brainwashing. venom-spewing bitch.  And let's not forget how I caused her now dead husband's cancer (yes, that is the way SHE refers to him "my dead husband" - creepy).  

Oh and the fact that when he responded to her crazy rant, and said this:

Your behavior is a large part of why Christy chose not to spend a great deal of time with our family.  And we argued about that often while we were married.  I was not supportive of her.  I see now that that was destructive.  I chose to ignore things that hurt my family so that I did not have to confront the truth about myself.  

THAT said to her that he is transferring all the blame for his drug use to her.  WTH?????? 

I have a friend who says she has started saying random crap like "I wear pickles" or "I have an umbrella" when people say crazy crap to her, but I would be afraid they would think that was like totally normal.......

I am proud of David - he has responded appropriately each time and now that she has rapidly digressed to the point of delusional, he has given up.  He is upset, but not destroyed.  He is not blaming me (which is a HUGE first).

So here is MY response that I will probably never send....

Wow.  I want to first apologize for giving Ken cancer.  I am really not sure how I did it and I want to harness that power, so could you explain it to me in human terms or doctor terms or in any terms.  Because if I can give people cancer at will, I am so totally doing that.  You'll probably be first, but hey, you won't mind, right?

Now, onto the rest of it.  You're right.  I am an evil controlling bitch because I would not let your mother feed my deathly allergic, medically fragile child milk products when she was 6 months old.  Next time, I will let her kill my kid so as not to hurt her feelings.  Thank you for pointing that out to me.  I will also let her call her Katelynn and write her name as Katelynn for the rest of Kaileigh's life - heck, maybe we should just change Kaileigh's name and identity since no one seems to "remember" it anyway.

Oh and you are right.  Kaileigh is fake.  She is made of latex - I thought she looked pretty lifelike when I bought her, though.......  And honestly, you are right about the fact that she is not a "real" Kendrick, too.  She is too sweet, kind and beautiful to be related to the lot of you.

And you are also right, I do brainwash my kids into saying things like "please", "thank you", "ma'am" and "sir."  You should probably call DHR.  Especially since I have taught them how to have a conversation with adults instead of grunting, pointing and cursing.  

Again, you are right (wow - you are on a roll)...... my children are spoiled with love, and unappreciative of anyone who calls them trolls.  They are just funny that way.  Not sure why they don't like it.  I love it when you call me a bitch.  I'll have the kids work on that.

And as for the venom-spewing, oh, honey.  That is all you.  But I should keep my mouth shut, really.  I know that.  I know before I open my mouth to shut you up that it will not go well.  But here is the thing.  I will NEVER allow you to abuse, debase or ridicule me, my children or your brother again.  If you don't like the fact that I stand up to you, tough.  Because I will protect my family with my life.  I am sorry that you have no soul and you think it is OK to treat people like crap, but it is not. 

And as for knowing that your brother had a drug problem and still giving him money.  THAT is the definition of enabling.  You enabled him when his therapist and I had him on a plan that included him having access to no money.  We could possibly have not had to go through this whole painful divorce, hitting rock bottom and trying to drag himself out of it alone since apparently you and your family are "done with him" if he chooses to do the right thing by his wife and his daughter if you would have just DONE WHAT WE ALL ASKED YOU TO DO.  But no, you want everyone to be as miserable as you are.  And I don't know that I can EVER forgive you for enabling his addiction.  Ever.

I know you hate me.  You have made that clear over the years.  I know you do not care in the least about me and our children.  But I thought you loved your brother.  You could at least be civil.  It would not kill you, nor would it kill you to teach your children to be civil.  I assure you, I will not be around much since David and I agree that it is not healthy for me and the kids to be exposed to such toxicity.

I love David very much.  Whatever else you think of me, you know that is true.  I cannot stand to see him hurting like he is over this.  Yes, he and I have issues.  No, they are not all his fault.  Yes, we are working on those.  No, they are none of your business. Do not be stubbornly refusing to support him in his recovery because you do not approve of his relationship with me and our kids.   Especially since there are no guarantees in this life.