Healing - Slowly

I have been reading and praying this week more than I have in a while.  I have been trying to come to grips with everything.

I ran across this verse in a book about hope:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.~Psalm 34:18

And I thought - yes, I am broken, yes I am crushed.

But then I realized that I am broken and crushed because I have chosen to be.  I am out of this situation and should be praising God for bringing me out of that hellatious marriage.  I should be praising God for showing me the truth.  I should be praising God for protecting me and my children from that.

Instead, I have been wallowing in my embarrassment and my shame that I had been fooled.  Well, hello, chickie-loo, this is lie 999,999,999,999 - seriously, at this point, what is one more?  I have known for years that he is a liar - why have I let these last revelations break me? 

I went to my Bible and read the rest of the passage:

The LORD is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope. The LORD's people may suffer a lot, but he will always bring them safely through. Not one of their bones will ever be broken. Wicked people are killed by their own evil deeds, and if you hate God's people you will be punished. The LORD saves the lives of his servants. Run to him for protection, and you won't be punished.   ~ Psalm 34:18-22 (CEV)

If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath. Disciples so often get in trouble; still, God is there every time.  He's your bodyguard, shielding every bone; not even a finger gets broken.  The wicked commit slow suicide; they waste their lives hating the good.  God pays for each slave's freedom; no one who runs to him loses out. ~ Psalm 34:18-22 (The Message)


It will still take time, but I am putting boundaries in place.  I am not going to allow anyone else to tell me anything else unless it impacts the health & well-being of my child NOW.  I am not listening to anything he says, for sure.  I *will* however buy him a one-way plane ticket to wherever he wants to go :)