Crazy Love & Home Groups

Yep, they are connected - give me a minute......

First off, I go to a "home group" church. I was in a group for a while & then family obligations and other things led me out of that group. I am a tough fit - I have talked to our home group pastor about this before. I am a single mom. I have a teenager. I have a kindergartener. I think divorce sucks. For a lot of reasons, but especially in the church.... I did not choose this road, but that is not what this is about. So I was out of a group for a while. I feel led to be in a group, but not sure where I belong, so I have been meeting with a great group (not just saying that bc one of them reads my blog often). Not sure it is the group for me or me for them. I am praying about it. Join me in that.

Honestly, I think I am turned off to the whole idea of this church bc of the creep. Of course, there are creeps in every church. There are creeps everywhere. I have to get past this sooner or later.... really.....

Anyway, so this group is reading an AWESOME book.... Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Thanks to Ashley for suggesting it.

I have just gotten stuck on something I read this weekend & just cannot get past it......

The quote that just punched me in the stomach is "Both worry and stress reek of arrogance." WOW - way to go, Christy - you are ALWAYS stressed and ALWAYS worried...... I have read and reread the explanations and I understand it, but never thought of it like that.

See, I am one of those people who pray A LOT.... I pray constantly - not a "Oh please, don't let that cop see me run this redlight" kind of constant, but like a constant "Thank you for my blessings.....please remember Jane, John, Billy, Bob.......etc......." I also spend specific time each day asking God for specific things and thanking him for specific things. But, you know, when you turn things over to God in prayer, the whole idea is that you leave it with Him - trust Him to do what needs to be done, you know? Well, not me - I pray, then I just take that issue, problem, worry or whatever with me bc, well, honestly, do you know how many people pray to God every day? I think after reading this, I realized that I don't think my problems are too big for God, but more that my problems are too small for God to be interested in. Even though they are huge to me at times, I have always felt like they really are insignificant in the scheme of things and that *I* am the only person who cares about them.

Wow - now really, how is that trusting God? How is that loving God? How is that having a real, relevant relationship with God?

So I am working on it.

I have finally turned 2 serious issues in my life over to God and not picked them back up to carry them myself. I feel relieved of the stress and I realized that actually neither one of them are *my* issue anyway - one is related to my ex-husband's mental health and the other is related to my daughter's birth mother being pregnant.

Now, I am still concerned about David taking his medication and going to therapy, but I am not worried or stressed about it because honestly, it is just not my issue. And while I am still concerned about Kaileigh's sibling, that is not really my issue either. I cannot let those issues steal my joy.....

So I feel like God led me to this group at least for a season...... He always does that - leads me right where I need to be when I need to be there. Now, if I just always listened or followed, I would be doing well.........