My 14 year old has taken advantage of my awesomeness for too long....apparently he removed the parental controls from his computer and I found out Friday.
So.... I installed BETTER parental controls AND 2 different sets - LOL!!! PLUS his laptop now lives in the living room. The parental controls allow me to set the times he is allowed to log in on his laptop. AWESOME - may I say, AWESOME idea!!!
So.... last night, he had a rough draft for a research paper to type. He started at 3:30. Did no chores yesterday bc it was "urgent" and would only "take another 15 minutes" - whatever.... He was fiddle-farting around all day. So... at 6:30, I told him that his computer automatically will shut down at 10. I reminded him at 7:30, 8:30 & 9:30. By the way, this is a 5 page paper - someone could have chiseled this thing in granite in 6 hours!
At 10 pm, shock of shocks, the computer locked him down. Little bugger could not figure out a way around the parental controls, so he starts ranting & raving at me how *****I***** have ruined his life and caused him to fail.....
Wrong answer, boyfriend!
I have been calm since Friday - my house is clean - but I have been calm. I have not raised my voice, I have not beaten him, I have been calm and AWESOME - have I mentioned that I am an AWESOME mom????
But this, this, this made me lose it.... So he demanded that I send a note to his teacher. (I could have overridden the parental controls and printed out his paper, but I am an evil mom & enjoy seeing my children fail - yeah, right!). Here is the note I sent:
"Hunter will turn in his rough draft a day late. He is not allowed on the computer after 10 pm and since he piddled away the afternoon, he did not get it typed before the parental controls locked him out. Since I am the world's worst mother, I thought you should know that it is all my fault he is going to fail. It has absolutely nothing to do with the 6 hours he spent pretending to type to get out of doing his chores."
So, do you think he gave it to her????? LOL
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Chit Chat over Coffee
I met a friend for coffee today and man did we talk..... We are chatters by nature anyway, but today we talked for an hour and a half & hit some pretty hard subjects and some pretty deep ones. Here's the thing. I did not set out to talk to her about issues that have been occurring lately, but God knew that I needed to spill to someone in the body, someone who would answer in the Word, not of the flesh. And he created an opportunity, an opening for the exact situation to be expressed - it was too perfect not to be of God.....
After talking it out with her, I felt I needed to repost and expound on something I had posted previously......
From a previous blog:
Husbands - women who are single sometimes troll churches seeking good Christian men - most of whom are still married. Sorry, but if your wife says someone seems to be after you - you need to put up some boundaries or hedges and listen to your wife. Women are more intuitive about this than you guys are - just the way we are made!
Wives - look at the reasons your husband could be swayed. Is he needing more attention from you? Who is the most important person in your marriage - if you answer ANYONE other than God or your spouse, you are looking in the wrong place. My pastor put it best - there is only room for 3 people in that wedding ring of yours - you, your spouse & God!!!!
Ok - to put a different spin on it:
There are MEN in the church who troll churches for lonely women - whether they be single, divorced, married or what have you. There are predators out there everywhere and we have to protect ourselves and put hedges and boundaries up all around.
We women are often helpers by nature and by the time we realize "Uh-oh, wait a minute" - it can go from helping & advice to totally inappropriate, crossing a line in an instant.
I was there. I crossed a line without realizing it until I was way, way across that line. I tried to gracefully stop it and tried to be nice about it, but with some people, you absolutely cannot be nice. I am constantly learning that the hard way.
Particularly with divorced or single women, we have to protect ourselves, we have to have boundaries and we have to guard those with our lives. In talking with my friend today, I realized that I am not the only person this has happened to, even in our congregation. When I started telling the situation to her, she immediately knew who I was talking about. She immediately told me her experience with it. She immediately knew the issue. She also lambasted me for not telling her & her husband while the issue was occurring so that they could have helped me address it.
So, I have been deeply unburdened. I love that God created an opportunity for me to tell my friend what happened, discuss it with her, tell her what I had already done to address it and get her opinion about what else to do.
God is such an awesome God even when we are so far out of obedience with Him. I am constantly reminded of that - as I am walking back to that obedient place.....
After talking it out with her, I felt I needed to repost and expound on something I had posted previously......
From a previous blog:
Husbands - women who are single sometimes troll churches seeking good Christian men - most of whom are still married. Sorry, but if your wife says someone seems to be after you - you need to put up some boundaries or hedges and listen to your wife. Women are more intuitive about this than you guys are - just the way we are made!
Wives - look at the reasons your husband could be swayed. Is he needing more attention from you? Who is the most important person in your marriage - if you answer ANYONE other than God or your spouse, you are looking in the wrong place. My pastor put it best - there is only room for 3 people in that wedding ring of yours - you, your spouse & God!!!!
Ok - to put a different spin on it:
There are MEN in the church who troll churches for lonely women - whether they be single, divorced, married or what have you. There are predators out there everywhere and we have to protect ourselves and put hedges and boundaries up all around.
We women are often helpers by nature and by the time we realize "Uh-oh, wait a minute" - it can go from helping & advice to totally inappropriate, crossing a line in an instant.
I was there. I crossed a line without realizing it until I was way, way across that line. I tried to gracefully stop it and tried to be nice about it, but with some people, you absolutely cannot be nice. I am constantly learning that the hard way.
Particularly with divorced or single women, we have to protect ourselves, we have to have boundaries and we have to guard those with our lives. In talking with my friend today, I realized that I am not the only person this has happened to, even in our congregation. When I started telling the situation to her, she immediately knew who I was talking about. She immediately told me her experience with it. She immediately knew the issue. She also lambasted me for not telling her & her husband while the issue was occurring so that they could have helped me address it.
So, I have been deeply unburdened. I love that God created an opportunity for me to tell my friend what happened, discuss it with her, tell her what I had already done to address it and get her opinion about what else to do.
God is such an awesome God even when we are so far out of obedience with Him. I am constantly reminded of that - as I am walking back to that obedient place.....
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Oh AND Kaileigh has a new very, very good, dear friend - who happens to be a boy....
OMG - we went to the Pumpkin Patch yesterday with a million kindergarteners - maybe more like 150, but it really felt like a million!!!!
You know Kaileigh is a shrimp, right - a tiny, short thing? Anywho, this boy was so, so tall - taller than a 3rd grader for sure. He was so protective of her - "Stop, don't push Kaileigh" when all the kids (including my precious angel) were pushing & shoving. "Hey, it's Kaileigh's turn - back up" when I am not so sure it WAS Kaileigh's turn. "Kaileigh, come sit by me" - "Kaileigh, let's do this together" etc, etc. etc.
And his name is Caleb - Kaileigh & Caleb - how cutesy!
ANYWAY, so I thought it was cute & his mom thought it was cute (which is great since she is Kaileigh's teacher this year - LOL).
They were talking about movies on the hayride - and even though Kaileigh has speech issues, they were carrying on this little adult-like conversation about movies - like they were on a date or something. Then Kaileigh got a little excited & started rattling on & on & was hard to follow. Caleb touched her arm & said "Kaileigh, slow down & let me catch up." It was so sweet.... it was so awesome....
I think **I** love Caleb - if they were a little older, I would be gathering her dowry! Seriously, well, yeah, seriously!!!!
LOL
Oh, I forgot the BEST part. So I asked Kaileigh about Caleb & she said "Moooooom, he is NOT my boyfriend! He is just my very, very good, dear friend who is a boy." OK, then! What about the hand holding & hugging & sweetness????? "Mom, you are way, way too silly - we did not hold hands."
So now, I need my eyes checked apparently.
Seriously???
I finally got to go to church this past Sunday morning - realized it had been about 6 weeks since I had been. I know I was out of town one week & had the flu one week, but those other weeks - we let things get in the way of church - like Kaileigh was sick, but geeze, Kaileigh is always sick - she has asthma & 3 different types of heart conditions - she has not missed school, so why did we miss church????? Ugh - just ugh.
I have some social anxieties anyway, but I realized Sunday that the reason I have not been to church is that I am avoiding someone. Hmm - not a good reason. Well, maybe a good reason if you know the story. Which I am not getting into here. For a lot of reasons.
So now, I know & I can work on it. Pray that I can address it with the person & get past what happened.
But seriously? I let my issues with someone else's behavior, or rather misbehavior, affect MY worship experience. What is up with that? Why do I do that? I tend to allow myself to become overly involved with other people & internalize their issues. Seriously? Ugh, darn my parents & their teaching empathy & love.......
I have some social anxieties anyway, but I realized Sunday that the reason I have not been to church is that I am avoiding someone. Hmm - not a good reason. Well, maybe a good reason if you know the story. Which I am not getting into here. For a lot of reasons.
So now, I know & I can work on it. Pray that I can address it with the person & get past what happened.
But seriously? I let my issues with someone else's behavior, or rather misbehavior, affect MY worship experience. What is up with that? Why do I do that? I tend to allow myself to become overly involved with other people & internalize their issues. Seriously? Ugh, darn my parents & their teaching empathy & love.......
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Marriage Counseling a la Christy
Ok, I am probably not the most qualified person to dispense marital advice. I have been married and divorced twice.... but I have probably seen every marriage counselor (Christian and secular) in NorthEast Alabama, so hopefully some of that has rubbed off.....
I have had several people approach me for marital advice lately. I have also offered unsolicited advice to one particular husband! I have come to realize through these seven hurting marriages this week (and my own previous 2) that there are some fundamental, basic truths about marriage.
Wives - your husbands CANNOT control what their mothers, sisters or anyone else say about you. They cannot force them to behave or to treat you nicely.
Husbands - you CAN however change YOUR reaction to the way your family treats your wife. You can also allow your wife to remove herself from situations without the emotional blackmail.
I can almost assure you that the discussion about an event will be completely different if women would realize that men cannot "make" their families play nice and men would realize that they can (and should) simply stand up for their wives.
Husbands - women who are single sometimes troll churches seeking good Christian men - most of whom are still married. Sorry, but if your wife says someone seems to be after you - you need to put up some boundaries or hedges and listen to your wife. Women are more intuitive about this than you guys are - just the way we are made!
Wives - look at the reasons your husband could be swayed. Is he needing more attention from you? Who is the most important person in your marriage - if you answer ANYONE other than God or your spouse, you are looking in the wrong place. My pastor put it best - there is only room for 3 people in that wedding ring of yours - you, your spouse & God!!!!
I am happy to report that this one seemed to be an easy fix - wife talked to husband - husband told wife he liked the attention and that wife was not spontaneous or fun anymore. Wife planned surprise weekend getaway (with some help from friends). After the weekend, they talked more honestly about setting some boundaries with others. (Recommended book: Hedges by Jenkins - I think it is now published under the name Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect it)
People sometimes say that money or the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I think that trying to have it all may be the root of all evil. Money issues are horrible and at this time in this economy, they can be devastating. I have not actually done Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, but I know lots of people who love it. I do know that living above your means will catch up to you eventually. Set a budget - start with tithe, savings and then bills....THEN "extras" - those extras we all think we are entitled to. Those are the things that eat away your peace bit by bit....I am not perfect in this area at all, but the kids and I are not lacking anything. We live on one PART-TIME income and I have no credit cards. I am building up my savings now. I cannot tell you the amount of stress that was relieved just by getting rid of the debt. So marriage advice related to money....hmm, sit down together, list everything you owe, everything you pay each month for every single category. Make some goals together & then create a budget together. If you are in agreement (or make compromises), both parties are more likely to stick to it.
Fertility issues are killer. I don't even know what to say about this other than love each other. You are both hurting. Just love each other and when people say stupid crap, tell them that they are saying stupid crap. Maybe one day those people will learn to mind their own business.
Side note to other folks: Don't ask childless couples when they plan to have babies. Don't ask people with one kid when they plan to have another. Don't ask why they don't adopt. Don't ask why people did adopt. Don't ask if they know what causes that if you see a large family.....
Pretty much mind your own business when it comes to fertility and family planning - even if it is "family." Really. I would not steer you wrong. Keep your trap shut unless the person opens the conversation!
While we are on the subject of kids....WOW - umm, how to say this....
OK, your kids are going to grow up and leave you and hopefully cleave to their spouse someday. So, why on earth are you letting your kids come between you and your spouse? Get on the same page about discipline and everything else. Your spouse is your priority (again - do as I say, not as I did - remember I am divorced) - you need to make a date once a week preferably, once a month at an absolute minimum to really connect with each other - find a hobby you both enjoy or something. Do not undermine your spouse in front of your kids either. Don't ever allow the kids to play you against each other.
Finally - the sticky ones -
Infidelity, porn, emotional affairs, etc, - basically anytime you are going outside the marriage to get a need met, you are destroying the core of your marriage. Men - you are devastating your wife - killing her soul. Women - you are in essence castrating your husband. Your spouse should be your best friend - your confidante - your lover - your partner.....
Learn, recognize & speak your spouse's love language. Show love in their language - not your own. Meet your spouse's needs first without expecting anything in return. I can almost guarantee you if this is done, your spouse will learn, recognize & speak your love language and will meet your needs. The goal is not to "get" though - the goal is to give and to show love to your spouse. Read The Five Love Languages. If you want help with intimacy (sexual and non-sexual), try TheMarriageBed.com message boards - completely Christian based - you can even choose what sections you see & don't depending on your level of comfort.
AND remember - if you are not meeting your spouse's needs, they may find someone who will.
Divorce sucks - it is tough on the kids, the couple who is divorcing, their friends, their families and our society as a whole. It is expensive and for now, it is way too easy to obtain. People think it is an easy out of a bad situation - when really, it is the hardest out I have ever seen. The hard thing, which ends up being the easiest really, if you think about it - is staying in, fighting for your marriage - even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone!
Please let's all pray for the restoration of the 7 marriages I have been concerned with and praying for this week. I would also like to pray for the strengthening of all the marriages in my family, my church & my community.
I have had several people approach me for marital advice lately. I have also offered unsolicited advice to one particular husband! I have come to realize through these seven hurting marriages this week (and my own previous 2) that there are some fundamental, basic truths about marriage.
Wives - your husbands CANNOT control what their mothers, sisters or anyone else say about you. They cannot force them to behave or to treat you nicely.
Husbands - you CAN however change YOUR reaction to the way your family treats your wife. You can also allow your wife to remove herself from situations without the emotional blackmail.
I can almost assure you that the discussion about an event will be completely different if women would realize that men cannot "make" their families play nice and men would realize that they can (and should) simply stand up for their wives.
Husbands - women who are single sometimes troll churches seeking good Christian men - most of whom are still married. Sorry, but if your wife says someone seems to be after you - you need to put up some boundaries or hedges and listen to your wife. Women are more intuitive about this than you guys are - just the way we are made!
Wives - look at the reasons your husband could be swayed. Is he needing more attention from you? Who is the most important person in your marriage - if you answer ANYONE other than God or your spouse, you are looking in the wrong place. My pastor put it best - there is only room for 3 people in that wedding ring of yours - you, your spouse & God!!!!
I am happy to report that this one seemed to be an easy fix - wife talked to husband - husband told wife he liked the attention and that wife was not spontaneous or fun anymore. Wife planned surprise weekend getaway (with some help from friends). After the weekend, they talked more honestly about setting some boundaries with others. (Recommended book: Hedges by Jenkins - I think it is now published under the name Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect it)
People sometimes say that money or the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. I think that trying to have it all may be the root of all evil. Money issues are horrible and at this time in this economy, they can be devastating. I have not actually done Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, but I know lots of people who love it. I do know that living above your means will catch up to you eventually. Set a budget - start with tithe, savings and then bills....THEN "extras" - those extras we all think we are entitled to. Those are the things that eat away your peace bit by bit....I am not perfect in this area at all, but the kids and I are not lacking anything. We live on one PART-TIME income and I have no credit cards. I am building up my savings now. I cannot tell you the amount of stress that was relieved just by getting rid of the debt. So marriage advice related to money....hmm, sit down together, list everything you owe, everything you pay each month for every single category. Make some goals together & then create a budget together. If you are in agreement (or make compromises), both parties are more likely to stick to it.
Fertility issues are killer. I don't even know what to say about this other than love each other. You are both hurting. Just love each other and when people say stupid crap, tell them that they are saying stupid crap. Maybe one day those people will learn to mind their own business.
Side note to other folks: Don't ask childless couples when they plan to have babies. Don't ask people with one kid when they plan to have another. Don't ask why they don't adopt. Don't ask why people did adopt. Don't ask if they know what causes that if you see a large family.....
Pretty much mind your own business when it comes to fertility and family planning - even if it is "family." Really. I would not steer you wrong. Keep your trap shut unless the person opens the conversation!
While we are on the subject of kids....WOW - umm, how to say this....
OK, your kids are going to grow up and leave you and hopefully cleave to their spouse someday. So, why on earth are you letting your kids come between you and your spouse? Get on the same page about discipline and everything else. Your spouse is your priority (again - do as I say, not as I did - remember I am divorced) - you need to make a date once a week preferably, once a month at an absolute minimum to really connect with each other - find a hobby you both enjoy or something. Do not undermine your spouse in front of your kids either. Don't ever allow the kids to play you against each other.
Finally - the sticky ones -
Infidelity, porn, emotional affairs, etc, - basically anytime you are going outside the marriage to get a need met, you are destroying the core of your marriage. Men - you are devastating your wife - killing her soul. Women - you are in essence castrating your husband. Your spouse should be your best friend - your confidante - your lover - your partner.....
Learn, recognize & speak your spouse's love language. Show love in their language - not your own. Meet your spouse's needs first without expecting anything in return. I can almost guarantee you if this is done, your spouse will learn, recognize & speak your love language and will meet your needs. The goal is not to "get" though - the goal is to give and to show love to your spouse. Read The Five Love Languages. If you want help with intimacy (sexual and non-sexual), try TheMarriageBed.com message boards - completely Christian based - you can even choose what sections you see & don't depending on your level of comfort.
AND remember - if you are not meeting your spouse's needs, they may find someone who will.
Divorce sucks - it is tough on the kids, the couple who is divorcing, their friends, their families and our society as a whole. It is expensive and for now, it is way too easy to obtain. People think it is an easy out of a bad situation - when really, it is the hardest out I have ever seen. The hard thing, which ends up being the easiest really, if you think about it - is staying in, fighting for your marriage - even if it means stepping outside your comfort zone!
Please let's all pray for the restoration of the 7 marriages I have been concerned with and praying for this week. I would also like to pray for the strengthening of all the marriages in my family, my church & my community.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Rock on!
I always knew that the Gadsden/Etowah County area was laid back, but man, I did not realize how laid back until I went to this concert tonight. Ok, so it was Sister Hazel, but I love them, I think. Well, I knew a few of their songs - mostly because I downloaded 'em on my Zune last week.... I did remember one from high school or maybe it was college, but it is a cool song.
ANYWAY, so everyone sat down the entire time - through both acts..... there were a few brave souls hanging at the front near the stage, but all the rest of us were sitting on our behinds at tables where servers were coming around picking up our trash & bringing us drinks....
Rock on!
It was kind of surreal, though, because I don't think I have ever sat down at a concert EVER....not even for a minute....well, maybe during an opening act, but I don't think so.....
ANYWAY, so everyone sat down the entire time - through both acts..... there were a few brave souls hanging at the front near the stage, but all the rest of us were sitting on our behinds at tables where servers were coming around picking up our trash & bringing us drinks....
Rock on!
It was kind of surreal, though, because I don't think I have ever sat down at a concert EVER....not even for a minute....well, maybe during an opening act, but I don't think so.....
Thursday, August 27, 2009
DUH!
My adorable, sweet, precious 5 year old has a new favorite word. "Duh"
It is driving me absolutely nuts - I could not figure out where she learned it. Well, until I was talking to my 14 year old's dad one night and caught myself saying it about 8 times.
Hmm, now I think it is cute......
It is driving me absolutely nuts - I could not figure out where she learned it. Well, until I was talking to my 14 year old's dad one night and caught myself saying it about 8 times.
Hmm, now I think it is cute......
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